What is Beauty, Socrates? A trans perspective on beauty standards and expression.

Oh wait he's dead.

The scene is familiar, you do your face, put together your ensemble for the day, brush your hair, and look in the mirror and think that'll do.
For me, it requires meticulous effort. Every day is something new, it seems like I am trying to be "pretty" or "beautiful" and it's useless because I have anxiety and dysphoria, therefore doubt myself.

This is rather common among trans people, especially trans women and transfeminine nonbinary people, because of the societal expectations of beauty and also one's own self image and gender dysphoria. A lot of beauty standards are classist racist, ableist, transphobic, and fatphobic, and I know this as a leftist that critiques things about society. I mean, have you ever noticed that most models you see in magazines and runways are rich, white, able-bodied, cisgender, and thin?

Yet, I find myself chasing these things. For what? To feel better?

One part might be a desire to be normal and acceptance. Beautiful people are trusted and liked. If you adhere to conventional attractions and standards, you are seen as more normal, and therefore upstanding, more believable. Good people are beautiful people, and vice versa. Bad people are ugly. However, these are obviously subjective and are prejudices.

Beauty standards are also very gendered. At the very least androgyny seems to be more accepted now, but there are still some caveats. Like hair removal, for a lot of trans women, it's not only just fulfilling beauty, but also mitigating gender dysphoria, and trans men wanting beards to not only pass but because beards are fashionable for men. But even so, everyone has hair. To expect nearly half of all humans to be hairless is absurd, but that shows the social conditioning of both gender and beauty. Of course, you don't have to shave, but shave if that makes you feel comfortable.

Gender dysphoria makes me uncomfortable and gender euphoria makes me comfortable.

Comfort and beauty sometimes work against each other; beauty is pain. As an autistic person, clothes are worn with comfort in mind, and then beauty second. Aesthetics are only good if comfort is reached. A lot of people usually do not dress en haute couture whether or not they can afford it, or have the energy to maintain said beauty and fashion, especially the feminine.

As a nonbinary transfemme this is my experience. Women's roles in beauty are much more elaborate than men's roles. Trans women and some nonbinary people looking to pass as female have this urge to be meticulous feminine, and some cis women (especially conservative or gender non-conforming), tend to side eye trans women's desire to be high femme. There are so many pitfalls in shopping for gender affirming clothes that it gets difficult. As mentioned before, the fashion models are thin, cisgender women. The mannequins have that silhouette. This isn't a unique trans problem, cis women also suffer, due to the fatphobic nature of fashion culture.
The breakdown of shopping problems:
1: Passing
Employees and/or other customers in the store may not actually believe your gender or they don't how to gender you at all, thus might get confused. A lot of transfeminine people report this. As "men" don't really shop for women's clothes. Since some cis people don't know what trans people look like, it can be awkward. Some stores are good, some are not. Online shopping can be a relief from stares or comments, but what happens if that dress doesn't fit? You have to mail it back and try to get a refund. This speaks to a larger problem of comfort vs safety– a problem of convenience.
2: Sizes
On average, people that were assigned male at birth tend to be taller than people that were assigned female at birth. Of course, cis women and can be tall and cis men can be short, but most people have this idea that men and women are shaped differently. While it is true to some degree, it's not as binary as you think it is.This gets reflected in clothing. In general going from men's to women's sizes, you go a size up, or a size down if women's to men's. So a men's large is a women's extra large. But not always, and numbers can vary by brand. The sizes may be out of our range and are often inconsistent, thus prolonging exposure in an odd situation. Some features such as broad shoulders can make you go an extra size up just so you get your arms into the sleeves. Height, weight, bones, etc. These bits vary on all humans, regardless of sex and gender.

3: Cost
Trans people, on average, make less money than cisgender people. Thus finding gender affirming clothing that fits can be so expensive. And you try to sell or donate your old clothes. It's a lot to take in, especially if you no support system. Being feminine– it often means spending more, putting on make-up, bras, hair removal, hair care, perfume, accessories, etc, and it adds up, and trans women that want to pass end up spend a bit more to erase features that might give them dysphoria.

To quote my link, being femme does not mean we should imitate cis women. A lot of transfemmes do want to be more femme. Overall, cultivating style is more important and better than worrying about beauty. Style can be empowering and liberating. Transfemmes want freedom from boyhood, transmascs want freedom from girlhood, and transneutral/androgynous people want freedom from the binary. The person's own style matters more than what taste-makers in Paris, France might say.

The fashion industry is an industry, it just wants to make money. Beauty is the leverage it has, you don't feel pretty, cute, or beautiful, but if you buy our products, you will be.

That's the point to sell, in marketing that is the problem point. You find a problem and position your product as the solution.

However, I want to empower and free people. Consider donating your old clothes to a trans person before sending it to Goodwill (which by the way isn't as charitable as you might think). Give that old dress to a trans girl. Being resourceful is good. I gave a bunch of my masc clothes to a friend of mine and he gave me his old fem clothes. Donate directly, holding clothing exchanges, or take your trans friends shopping, especially if you're a cis woman trying to make transfemmes feel happier.

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but style is in our hands. We can shape it. We can overcome our dysphoria, reach euphoria, and show the world that we are real and valid. Beauty can be reclaimed, made into an inclusive means of expression rather than social control, however, this is

Oh wait he's dead.

The scene is familiar, you do your face, put together your ensemble for the day, brush your hair, and look in the mirror and think that'll do.
For me, it requires meticulous effort. Every day is something new, it seems like I am trying to be "pretty" or "beautiful" and it's useless because I have anxiety and dysphoria, therefore doubt myself.

This is rather common among trans people, especially trans women and transfeminine nonbinary people, because of the societal expectations of beauty and also one's own self image and gender dysphoria. A lot of beauty standards are classist racist, ableist, transphobic, and fatphobic, and I know this as a leftist that critiques things about society. I mean, have you ever noticed that most models you see in magazines and runways are rich, white, able-bodied, cisgender, and thin?

Yet, I find myself chasing these things. For what? To feel better?

One part might be a desire to be normal and acceptance. Beautiful people are trusted and liked. If you adhere to conventional attractions and standards, you are seen as more normal, and therefore upstanding, more believable. Good people are beautiful people, and vice versa. Bad people are ugly. However, these are obviously subjective and are prejudices.

Beauty standards are also very gendered. At the very least androgyny seems to be more accepted now, but there are still some caveats. Like hair removal, for a lot of trans women, it's not only just fulfilling beauty, but also mitigating gender dysphoria, and trans men wanting beards to not only pass but because beards are fashionable for men. But even so, everyone has hair. To expect nearly half of all humans to be hairless is absurd, but that shows the social conditioning of both gender and beauty. Of course, you don't have to shave, but shave if that makes you feel comfortable.

Gender dysphoria makes me uncomfortable and gender euphoria makes me comfortable.

Comfort and beauty sometimes work against each other; beauty is pain. As an autistic person, clothes are worn with comfort in mind, and then beauty second. Aesthetics are only good if comfort is reached. A lot of people usually do not dress en haute couture whether or not they can afford it, or have the energy to maintain said beauty and fashion, especially the feminine.

As a nonbinary transfemme this is my experience. Women's roles in beauty are much more elaborate than men's roles. Trans women and some nonbinary people looking to pass as female have this urge to be meticulous feminine, and some cis women (especially conservative or gender non-conforming), tend to side eye trans women's desire to be high femme. There are so many pitfalls in shopping for gender affirming clothes that it gets difficult. As mentioned before, the fashion models are thin, cisgender women. The mannequins have that silhouette. This isn't a unique trans problem, cis women also suffer, due to the fatphobic nature of fashion culture.

The breakdown of shopping problems:
1: Passing
Employees and/or other customers in the store may not actually believe your gender or they don't know how to gender you at all, thus might get confused. A lot of transfeminine people report this. As "men" don't really shop for women's clothes. Since some cis people don't know what trans people look like, it can be awkward. Some stores are good, some are not. Online shopping can be a relief from stares or comments, but what happens if that dress doesn't fit? You have to mail it back and try to get a refund. This speaks to a larger problem of comfort vs safety– a problem of convenience.

2: Sizes
On average, people that were assigned male at birth tend to be taller than people that were assigned female at birth. Of course, cis women and can be tall and cis men can be short, but most people have this idea that men and women are shaped differently. While it is true to some degree, it's not as binary as you think it is.This gets reflected in clothing. In general going from men's to women's sizes, you go a size up, or a size down if women's to men's. So a men's large is a women's extra large. But not always, and numbers can vary by brand. The sizes may be out of our range and are often inconsistent, thus prolonging exposure in an odd situation. Some features such as broad shoulders can make you go an extra size up just so you get your arms into the sleeves. Height, weight, bones, etc. These bits vary on all people, regardless of sex and gender.

3: Cost
Trans people, on average, make less money than cisgender people. Thus finding gender affirming clothing that fits can be so expensive. And you try to sell or donate your old clothes. It's a lot to take in, especially if you have no support system. Being feminine, means spending more, putting on make-up, bras, hair removal, hair care, perfume, accessories, etc, and it adds up, and trans women that want to pass end up spend a bit more to erase features that might give them dysphoria.

To quote my link, being femme does not mean we should imitate cis women. A lot of transfemmes do want to be more femme. Overall, cultivating style is more important and better than worrying about beauty. Style can be empowering and liberating. Transfemmes want freedom from boyhood, transmascs want freedom from girlhood, and transneutral/androgynous people want freedom from the binary. The person's own style matters more than what taste-makers in Paris, France might say.

The fashion industry is an industry, it just wants to make money. Beauty has the leverage it has, you don't feel pretty, cute, or beautiful, but if you buy our products, you will be.

That's the point to sell, in marketing that is the problem point. You find a problem and position your product as the solution.

However, I want to empower and free people. Consider donating your old clothes to a trans person before sending it to Goodwill (which by the way isn't as charitable as you might think). Give that old dress to a trans girl. Being resourceful is good. I gave a bunch of my masc clothes to a friend of mine and he gave me his old fem clothes. Donate directly, holding clothing exchanges, or take your trans friends shopping, especially if you're a cis woman trying to make transfemmes feel happier.

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but style is in our hands. We can shape it. We can overcome our dysphoria, reach euphoria, and the show the world that we are real and valid. Beauty can be reclaimed, made into an inclusive means of expression rather than social control, however, this focusing on style over standards. I may not believe it all the time, but people say that I am gorgeous, darling, pretty, beautiful, and cute. This is because of my style, not standards. I can be a third rate man, a second rate woman, or I can be a first-rate me. I always will pick the first-rate me, and so should you.

focusing on style over standards. I may not believe it all the time, but people say that I am gorgeous, darling, pretty, beautiful, and cute. This is because of my style, not standards. I can be a third rate man, a second rate woman, or I can be a first-rate me. I always will pick the first-rate me, and so should you.

-Miss B.D.E

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