Unswallowing the Red Pill: A feminist analysis of MRA rhetoric and Men's Issues

Trigger Warning for Suicide mention and self-harm. If reading about that will make you uncomfortable, look away. And this article may seem a little binary, I apologize for that, but that's the fault of research being so binary until very recently.

Hello everyone,

In this essay I will talk about men's rights.

Look I know, save the hot takes for the comments or the quote tweets. So recently, I have been embroiled in online discussions of feminism and what stuck out to me was men's issues and MRAs and the notion of a men's movement.

What is this "Red Pill" we are supposed to take?

I thought of calling this "feminist takes the red pill" but the red pill was established to show discovery of the true self, and that choice in color was (arguably) a reference to premarin, which is what trans women used to take in the 1990s for feminizing HRT, it is a pill that is red and contained estrogen from horse urine! So, in a sense, I have been "Red-Pilled" and the red pill was estradiol. The blue pill was either antidepressants or viagra? Uh I don't know, but The Matrix was a trans allegory.

The Wachowski sisters made it before they came out. Although, maybe Lana was entertaining transition, and I do talk about transitioning for me and in general, both in greater detail in other blogs, it goes differently for each trans person, often with a lot of thought, time, and resources put in to achieve and beget different goals for each individual.

So, boys take the red pill today and become beautiful confident women!™

In feminism, you know, the hive-mind of a social movement, the idea of a men's movement seems kinda counterproductive, after all men hold all the power and privilege right? Well, yes, but (oof) what about the men? My worldview has had influence from feminism, especially intersectional feminism, transfeminism, Marxist/socialist/anarcha feminism.

It can be a bit more complicated and the truth has a nasty habit of resisting simplicity, especially with things like gender and society.

We live in a dumpster fire!

Anyway, I wanted to give my hot takes and two bits on this issue, especially before i have to put some grumpy little anon boys to bed, like the feminist mommy that I am.

"Men get longer sentences and convicted more often based on being men. The effect is six times as strong as the effect of being black, and no one denies the effects of being black in the justice system."

Bias does play a role in jury sentencing.

However, what is it about men that would make a jury be seemingly harsher to men? In implicit bias studies, it seems that in many contexts, one sees men as more active agents when gender is taken into account. Male agency is a core of many gender roles between men and women. So, this appears to be an example of male agency applying in a negative sense. A sort of malevolent privilege if you will, as an inverse of benevolent sexism.

Men are over 3/4 of the homeless.

I can bring up whataboutisms too!

Besides, homelessness has other factors in it, this statement is reductionist. Plenty of people experiencing homelessness are Black and POC, and also LGBTQIA+ especially homeless youth. There are many factors too, like veteran status and mental health. There are many facets that many MRAs fail to see, or rather minimize because it undermines their agenda, even though they are technically correct, it is often presented without much context. Homelessness is not a gendered issue. It is much more complex.

"They have shorter lifespan and lower satisfaction with life. They have less access to medical care."

In my experience men tend do not see the doctor and do more riskier activities. However, why? Why would men be in those situations.

Toxic masculinity is the common explanation us feminatz- I mean feminists have. We critique an attitude pervasive among men upholding patriarchal value systems. Toxic masculinity is the result of gendered social policing, A core tenant of toxic masculinity is the appearance and projection of strength, power, virility, dominance and discipline over one's weaknesses, and of course, the rejection of the feminine, however it may be defined as. Unpacking toxic masculinity and expanding healthcare for men go hand and hand.

Healthcare and especially mental health care should be made adequate and accessible for people of all genders, men, women, non-binary people etc.

TW: Suicide

"Men are the vast majority of suicides."

MRAs constantly bring this up, usually in bad faith to shut down arguments and discourse. However, the things is that men tend to be better at suicide, i.e use more violent and lethal means like gunshots, and women tend to use poisoning which has a higher chance of survival, and furthermore there are some data that shows women are 2-3 more likely to attempt suicide. This is also a mental health problem, and that is partially rooted in male weakness not being taken seriously, which is a sign of toxic masculinity. These factors are important to know and so, can be taken into account when talking about mental health and suicide. Another factor to consider is the socioeconomic backgrounds of the individuals and society they live in, while so called developed countries have higher male deaths by suicide, quite a few countries in Africa, South America, Asia, and Oceania have reported equal rates or higher rates of female deaths by suicide. This is also leads to discussions of cultural norms around death and suicide. Traditional gender roles in China, for example, are the reason why women in China are more likely to commit suicide, and again most of the suicide rates like most countries, in China are still male.

There's still more to cover, especially once we get into LGBTQIA+ individuals. Gay, queer, bisexual, and pansexual men are more at risk of suicide, self harm, and than heterosexual men. Overall, lgbtqia+ people are more vulnerable for mental health issues, especially suicide, than cisgender straight populations. We must not discount this important factor from consideration. A lot of things overlap, after all.

They're discriminated against in school, both in a disciplinary and educational fashion with harsher punishments and lower grades.

Schools are socialization. Gendered socialization is a complicated topic that requires a fuckton of nuance. Harshness is part of the desensitization of a lot of male gendered role induction, so to speak. Boys don't cry, as we are told whether directly or indirectly. Nobody has to state it, but children get that idea quickly, children's minds can be quite receptive to some subtle messaging. School is an integral part of the development of children, mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually, dare I say. There are data that shows in both schools and work, boys/men still do talk over girls/women. There's still that misogynist attitude. Sexism is not a one way street after all, it has multiple lanes, especially with a lot of impaired participants all smashing into each other.

"They are literally unprotected by the law when it comes to sexual violence in many societies, and de facto unprotected in most of the rest." They make up about half the domestic violence victims, and get almost NO support for it.

Again, society not taking male victims of sexual assault and domestic violence is a consequence of gender roles and toxic masculinity. A woman may distrust men often because she has been hurt. That does resonate with me, especially as a trans woman. Usually, men not trusting women comes from a more bigoted attitude. Though, men do not have monopolies on creepiness, assault, and violence. Patriarchal norms have idealized and even overstate their power, in which the masculine is deemed to be power, prestige, and mighty resilience.

They are more likely to be friendless and lonely, and when they become married typically get cut off from their circle of friends in a way women are not.

Now, as you may know, I am not a man, I'm a non-binary trans woman, so I wouldn't relate however, I am a woman that used to live as man (trans women are not men; let me remind you all!) and the male social style and female social style are a bit different. I prefer the way women make friends and interact with friends. I remember feeling jealous of girls, how often they would hug. I almost never got hugged except by my mother or grandmother, and not my father either, when I was a little girl pretending to be a boy. It does sadden me on how underfed boys are with emotion. Their parents tell them to man up, but like they're children, just like their sisters, your daughters. Men do not treat me like their equals. I never really fit in with boys, but not really with girls, I was left on my own. Of course I'm also genderqueer and the non-binary community helped, but the whole transgender community was my lifeline. And soon I found more acceptance from cis women. And going back to men, I know that I am not one, but like, I kinda can sympathize with them in a way but also not really? I just stopped pretending to be a man, rejecting what was socially expected of me, because of some roles imposed me with the symbolic mistake of the gender marker on the original birth certificate printed almost 24 years ago. It's just that I don't need to put forward a new healthier, less toxic model of manhood and masculinity. That's not my job. Though, I'm sure the trans male and transmasculine community has a lot to say about it

The government spends far more on women than men on purpose. Women make up a majority of the vote, have far more lobbying power, and as a result have the majority of practical political power.

This seems absurd, I could probably dismiss it already; but, I won't. Government spending more on women than men? I should look in this more at a later point if I make another response to this.

Still, women have had organized in common causes, especially with feminism as a general framework influencing said movements, because of shared experiences of marginalization. Men, as a class, haven't really needed to that, if they do, a lot of the men's issues here are related to women's issues and therefore can be addressed under feminism. So, they should work together. The bad things about gender hurt, and gender hurts men too.

In spite of this, in many places they have to work longer and receive lesser retirement benefits.

What happens when patriarchal gender roles essentialize men into breadwinners? This. On the contrary, women face benevolent sexism, which also backfires on men. Men have undue burden place on them by patriarchal norms, and so I think this gives them reason to see, even if it seems a bit selfish, to oppose gender roles and patriarchy, and to rebuild manhood and masculinity in a positive, healthy, and even more productive and egalitarian way. There are a lot of problems with gender, and the menfolk are feeling it so much.

In conclusion. A lot of men's rights activist talking points may seem to have merit, and they do have their grains of truth, but they are often simplified at best or are brought up in bad faith meant to stifle discussion. Honestly, next time I get baited into an argument, I will just eat a bowl of thumbtacks than to waste my time with 3 hours of crafting a feminist rebuttal. This article took way longer to read and write for it. I've done my homework for this. I may have just wasted my time, but I hope reading this was not a waste of your time, dear reader.

Thank you for reading!

-Brittany

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Bibliography:

An overview of suicide research in China

CDC guide of queer men's mental health

Data on suicide rates in the world

Prevent Male Mental Illness in Post-war Britain

Sex differences: Summarizing more than a century of research

Study on gender differences with suicide methods

The social construction of gender and its influence on suicide

Oh, but what about the feminization of poverty?